Hahaha...that stupid song won't go away.

I did not get to see Arkie this weekend...whaaaaa...but there were reasons. I figured since we would be in TN, that Ryan should, if he wanted to, call his dad and tell him that he was going to be there. Not that I expected him to answer, because he never does. Not that I expected him to actually want to see Ryan, because he never does, but because growing up I never had the option of calling my mother to tell her when I would be in Michigan. I never had the option of seeing her if I wanted to. I swore that I would never make Ryan not see his dad if he really wanted to. Well the asshole answered. Not only did he answer he told Ryan that it was too bad he was coming there, because he was coming here and wanted to see him. Ryan instantly said I will be at my mawmaw and pawpaw's daddy, come see me there.

I did not want to leave my parents in the position of having to deal with this lunatic, nor did I feel very comfortable knowing that he would be here in WV where my son was at and I not there to do something if he tried anything weird, you know like take him. So I called Arkie and explained the situation and we made plans for two weeks from now. Her and S. will still get to visit this week though, which I think is great, they better freaking call me too.

Ryan's dad never showed up Friday night. We were out all day so we missed his call giving his excuse. Instead of me breaking the news to Ryan, I just replayed the voicemail for him. I never want him to blame me the way I blamed my dad for my others shortcomings. The way he looked at me with those eyes full of tears broke my heart. I want to just tell Chris to go to hell not to come back, but this is something that I want Ryan to decide for himself. I know it hurts him and it kills me that it does, but I would rather him figure it out on his own then wonder his whole life why. Ryan went to his room to cry, because he has gotten to that age where he doesn't like to cry in front of people, and while I tried to console him, make him smile, it was S. who did the job with a simple stuffed toy. At that moment he was my little boys hero, and I don't even think he knows it. Chris said he was coming this next weekend, but really I am not holding my breath.

So no Arkie meet for me this weekend. Whaaaaa...

But...in other news, we did have a fabulous time together this weekend. I still have some issues but those will fix themselves as time goes on. S. was simply wonderful in every way. Everything that I have missed and needed was right there. Once again I remembered why it is that this is the man I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with.

School is going okay...right now is crunch time. One month left till the end of my semester and I still have several things, big things that need to get done. I will probably get an extension on my Criminal Justice Senior Seminar class, unless I can pull a 25-30 page paper out of my arse while finishing all of my case studies for my other classes. Last semester I was planning on this being my last, but with changes in the program, and class shuffling (what is offered in spring, fall, and summer) it looks like I should be able to finish up this freaking degree this summer if I really buckle down and just do it. I will finish, I have came to far not to, sometimes I feel burnt out though. A BA in less than three years is a lot. I have went to school full time, all semesters, and am just a little tired of it. But this is what I want, what I need, what I have worked for, so I will continue and just get it done as soon as I can.

39 more days to go. 39 more days till I am married. It seems so surreal. We had a Dr.s appt. on Friday, Ryan and S. got to hear the baby's heartbeat, and in two weeks...we will know if it is a banana or a peach. Personally, I am hoping for a peach, but a banana will be fine of course. The appt. went well. I have been following my diabetic diet, and it showed. I lost 9 lbs. Which is good. I hate that diet because I eat all the time on it, but the stuff that I eat is good stuff, what I used to mostly eat before Ryan. Lots of veggies, fruits, water. The Dr. had no reason to yell at me this time, so I felt very proud that I did what I was supposed to.