Just wishing our littlest one a happy monthday. It's hard to believe that he has been out of me for a full month, it sure doesn't seem that long. I'll post some newer pictures later today, once I get them uploaded.

While today is joyous, it is also a little sad. He's been here for a month, but that also marks how long it has been since we have seen the other two. It really makes me sad. A few days ago I was online ordering Ryan something for Christmas (because it was a great deal) and I really wanted to order S. one too, but thought I should wait. Slim and I talked and this morning I ordered S the same as what I got Ryan, because we know he will like it. I miss them, Ryan misses them...he really got close to them and asks about them all the time, and of course Slim misses them...but there is nothing we can do but ride it out and hope for the best. This time it's not just hurting one person...or even one and the boys...it hurts me and my son, which is simply not fair.

However back to baby James. We switch from calling him James, JR, baby James, Junior, he's going to have an identity complex before he is 2. I mostly call him the baby.

When Ryan was born I swore I would not be that person who depends on everyone and the system. I went back to work within a week and a half of coming home from the hospital, and worked 50-60 hour weeks. I never ever left him at my parents over night though. No matter what I went to get him. But I never got to enjoy him just being a baby. It was work, take care of him and work some more. No play, or just watch him sleep...this time is completely different. I can look at baby James and watch his face while he sleeps. I get to hear the first little sounds that are not related to crying, and it is just so sweet.

Here's to you baby James...happy Monthday...